A few years ago, I finished Erik Erikson’s book Childhood and Society. As the mother of a school-age boy, I felt two things at once.
On the one hand, I was disappointed that I hadn’t had this book in my library nine years earlier. There was so much important and essential in it.
On the other hand, I felt relieved and even excited. The crises of early childhood were already behind us. So much still lay ahead: my son’s adolescence, and eventually my own old age and wisdom.
All of this is explored by the remarkable psychologist Erik Erikson.
Erik Erikson Bio
Blue-eyed blond Erik Erikson was born in Frankfurt am Main, Germany, in 1902.
Karla Abrahamsen was his mother. She was an intellectual of Jewish origin. She was married to Valdemar Salomonsen, however he was not Erik’s biological father. His father was an unknown Dane. Erik, originally a painter and teacher, became interested in psychology after meeting Anna Freud, the daughter of the famous psychoanalyst. She convinced Erikson to study at the Vienna Psychoanalytic Institute, which he did, choosing child psychoanalysis as his specialty. Erikson’s biography is often described in such detail. People believe that the identity crisis he studied so deeply was something he knew firsthand.
At a regular school, he was teased for being Jewish, and at a Jewish school, for not looking Jewish.
In 1933, Erik Erikson moved to the United States, where he began working at Harvard Medical School. Later, he moved to Yale University. During this period, he became interested in the influence of culture and society on child development. In 1950, Childhood and Society was published — a book that became a classic for beginning psychologists, sociologists, and educators.
In his later years, Erikson became fascinated with the question of the meaning of life. He continued working on the issues that concerned him until his death. He passed away at the age of 92.
Erik Erikson stages of development
Why is Erikson so important for parents and teachers — for anyone who cares about children’s lives?
Erikson explained a child’s emotional and social development. He showed what lays the foundation for emotional stability. He also identified what undermines it. He identified 8 main stages of psychological development. Each stage is marked by a conflict that a person either resolves successfully or not.
- First stage — from birth to one year: trust vs mistrust
- Second stage — from one to two years: autonomy vs shame
- Third stage — from three to six years: initiative vs guilt
- Fourth stage — corresponds to Freud’s “latency period”: competence vs inferiority
- Fifth stage — adolescence: identity vs role confusion
- Sixth stage — early adulthood: intimacy vs isolation
- Seventh stage — later adulthood: productivity vs stagnation
- Eighth stage — integrity (wisdom) vs despair
If the conflict is resolved positively, a person gains new character traits. These traits include confidence in the future, willpower, and competence. They also gain loyalty, the ability to love, care, and wisdom.
Childhood is an incredibly important stage in a person’s life. The relationships a child has with significant adults during this time influence later socialisation. The scientist said that it is in childhood that trust in people and the world arises. Autonomy and initiative also begin during this stage. Erikson was not a pessimist. He believed it is always possible to “return” to the past. We can “work through” unresolved conflicts.
Trust vs Mistrust
The first stage, according to Erikson, corresponds to the first year of a child’s life. The baby learns to trust themselves, other people, and the world as a whole. Erikson writes that trust can be internal. This means having belief in one’s ability to cope with difficulties. Trust can also be external, which is the belief that important adults will be there when needed.
A baby successfully passes this stage. This happens when parents soothe them when they cry, feed them when they are hungry, rejoice in their first sounds and steps, and respond to their needs. A child whose basic needs are not consistently met grows up suspicious and distrustful.
Self-confidence and trust in adults are necessary for a child to move to the next stage and develop independence. Lack of trust, on the other hand, puts the development of more complex social relationships at risk. In such cases, the child is more vulnerable.
What does it mean in practice?
- carry babies in your arms and hug them often
- feed on demand
- soothe at the first signs of stress
This helps children believe that the world is safe and that there are people in it who care about them.
Erikson debated that such behaviour in the first year cannot “spoil” a child. Trust is the foundation without which true autonomy is impossible.
Independence vs Shame and Doubt
The second stage corresponds to the second and third years of life. The main developmental task is autonomy or independence. This is the period when the child’s “I” is forming.
This is when you first hear from your toddler: “No!”, “Mine!”, “Give!”, and of course, “Myself!”. I remember my son at two years old… Every trip to the shop ended the same way. He loved pressing the intercom button first and knocking on the door. If I accidentally forgot about his “need,” the anger and offence were intense.
Erikson reassures parents: “terrible twos” are completely normal. Nothing unusual about it. Children need opportunities to choose, to be involved in tasks, and to take on small responsibilities they can manage. For example, if a child wants to dress themselves and you are in a hurry, plan to get up earlier. This allows them the time to dress themselves.
At this time, Erikson warns, children behave very inconsistently: sometimes overly dependent, sometimes the opposite. To feel secure, they need reasonable limits. At home, we walk barefoot, but outside, we wear shoes. We eat ice cream after soup and salad, not before. It is most important to be firm (but not harsh), calm, and consistent.
What does it mean in practice?
- give the child choices: “We are going outside. Do you want mum to dress you or will you do it yourself?”
- set clear, reasonable, consistent limits (we can hug mum, but we don’t hit; we don’t fight, we talk things through)
- accept and understand emotional swings from independence to dependence
The same child can be a “big kid” one moment and a “crying baby” the next.
Initiative vs Guilt
Children aged 4–5 go through this stage, which lasts until about 12 years old. At this age, a child is very energetic and curious. If this period is successfully resolved, the result is a confident and competent child.
Preschoolers can already do a lot: jump, run, climb, make friends. The outcome depends strongly on how parents respond to a child’s ideas. Learning from mistakes without feeling guilt is the key task of this stage.
This is the best time to do things together: cooking, building airports from blocks, making cubby houses in the yard. Praise for completed tasks, for helping at home, for everything that was achieved. Encouragement is very important. Labels like “what is this scribble?” can take away a child’s desire to show initiative.
What does it mean in practice?
- encourage independence
- focus on achievements, not mistakes
- set expectations that match the child’s abilities
- involve children in everyday activities — they are eager to learn what you can do
Erikson also describes later stages of development. However, this article focuses on younger children, so I will stop here. I refer you to the source, Childhood and Society, which describes each stage in detail.
To help children grow smart, they need trust and love.
Storykate 🪇