There was a year in my career as an early childhood educator that I now think of as one of the darkest. Not dramatic. Just heavy.
In that same year, I became a single mother. I was adjusting to a new long-daycare environment, learning new routines, new expectations, new relationships. My body was struggling. I had frequent migraines. I was exhausted in a way that sleep did not fix. I was also made redundant from another role. On top of this, I was trying to hold together paid work, part-time tutoring, writing, and caring for an eight-year-old child who needed stability, presence, and love.
It was too much.
I remember falling asleep everywhere. On the couch. Sitting upright. Sometimes between tasks. At the time, I did not have the language for it, but now I know these were signs of burnout, nervous system overload, and quiet anxiety. Many educators will recognise this state. You are still functioning, still caring, still showing up, but your body is waving a small white flag.
What helped me during this time was not a quick fix. It did not remove the struggle or magically give me more energy. What helped was a shift in how I related to myself.
I began reading Brené Brown’s work, and I devoured it. Her writing on shame, vulnerability, and wholeheartedness gave me language for experiences I had never named before. Brown writes that shame thrives in silence and self-judgement, while empathy and connection loosen its grip (Brown, 2012). That idea alone was a turning point. I realised how harsh my inner voice had become, especially around not coping “well enough”.
At the same time, I was listening to audiobooks and talks through Sounds True. I listened to Kristin Neff, Tara Brach, Pema Chödrön, and other Buddhist teachers. These teachings did not ask me to be positive or strong. They asked me to be honest.
Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion was especially grounding. She explains that self-compassion involves three core elements: kindness towards oneself, recognition of common humanity, and mindful awareness of suffering (Neff, 2011). This mattered deeply to me. Instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?”, I slowly learned to ask, “This is hard. How can I respond with care?”
Pema Chödrön’s teachings added another layer. She speaks about staying with discomfort rather than running from it, and about the courage to remain open even when life feels uncertain (Chödrön, 2006). That idea did not make my life easier, but it made it more spacious. I stopped fighting my exhaustion as a personal failure. I started seeing it as a signal.
These ideas did not remove my need for rest. They did not make the workload lighter. But they helped me stay afloat.
Here are a few takeaways that carried me through, and that I now share with other educators.
First, suffering does not mean you are weak or unsuited to this profession. Caring work is emotionally demanding by nature. As Neff reminds us, struggle is part of being human, not a personal flaw (Neff, 2011).
Second, self-compassion is not self-indulgence. It is a form of responsibility. Brené Brown argues that sustainable care for others begins with honesty and boundaries, not self-sacrifice at all costs (Brown, 2010). For educators, this matters. You cannot pour endlessly from an empty cup.
Third, you do not need to fix yourself before you are worthy of rest or kindness. Pema Chödrön writes about meeting ourselves exactly as we are, without waiting for improvement (Chödrön, 2006). That idea was radical for me. It allowed me to pause without guilt.
I am sharing this not because everyone will be walking the same path I did, but because many educators are quietly carrying more than they show. If you are feeling tired, overwhelmed, or disconnected from the joy that once brought you into this profession, you are not alone.
You are doing meaningful work in a caring profession. You deserve the same compassion you offer to children every day.
Sometimes staying afloat is enough.
Your Storykate
P.S. Here are links to the books
References
Brown, B. (2010). The gifts of imperfection. Hazelden.
Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly. Gotham Books.
Chödrön, P. (2006). The places that scare you. Shambhala.
Neff, K. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. William Morrow.
